For the last 3 or 4 years at Christmas time, my family has always performed the twelve days of Christmas for a family. This involves collecting 12 presents/goodies/etc, and purchasing a nativity set with about 12 pieces, and starting on Dec. 13th, we deliver a piece of the nativity set and a present or goodies each night anonymously until Dec. 24th. This has always been great fun for the kids (I make them do the drop), and I have always felt like it brings the magic into Christmas. This year, we chose a friend of mine that lives down the street from us. She has 2 kids of her own, and she lives with her mother in law (Who owns the house and whom I don't know). Her mother in law takes care of 3 foster kids. They seemed like good candidates to receive some Christmas cheer. Well, last night, we got busted on the drop. The brother in law of my friend caught us in the act, and he even laughed and said thank-you. But today, I got a phone call from my friend and she told me that while she very much appreciated the gesture, it isn't her home, and her mother in law wants us to stop bringing things to their home. She said her mother in law has been freaking out about stuff being left on her doorstep, and in this day and age, it's scary to them. My friend was quite distraught, and I think she was near tears. I have no feelings of ill-will, and I am not offended. That being said, am I totally off the mark here? Is it borderline creepy/stalker-like leaving stuff on peoples doorsteps? Is this a tradition I should completely stop? And what do I do with the rest of the nativity set? I still have 6 pieces. Should I go to the home, and apologize to the mother in law, and give her the rest of the pieces? Should I just pretend it never happened? Advice please.
5 comments:
Demand it all back then - just kidding. Is this a friend you see often? Like you would see her this week before Christmas or one you could call and tell her you have more things for her, even if it is just the nativity set? and then they could open at their leisure or she could surprise the kids with. I would try and at least give them the rest of the set(what good is a partial nativity??) and finish giving the goodies to maybe other members of the ward or to your kids' friends families. That way your kids experience the gift of giving and the MIL won't be paranoid of laced Holiday Cheer.
Thanks for the comment Amber. I am glad at least one person has responded or I would really have felt like a creepo. I am re-evaluating our tradition, not sure if I will be doing this again. And I think I am going to just take the rest of the nativity, knock on the MIL's door, and apologize for scaring her and see if she will please take the rest of the nativity. I don't really look forward to doing it, but I am trying to do what He would do.
I think it's a lovely tradition, and one that many people would appreciate! Perhaps a compromise would be spreading the word about your tradition a bit during November, perhaps to those who might be the receivers. Though it takes some of the out-of-the-blue excitement away, it would eliminate an awkward response. I think it's so sweet and special and would LOVE it if someone did that for me! Merry, merry Christmas!
Agreed Danielle, I would love it if someone did that for me! Especially because of the length of time it would take them to actually GET to my doorstep. What a kind gesture :) I definitely think you should keep doing it. Maybe in certain circumstances thought (like this one) it just shouldn't be a secret who you are? Maybe if you'd put a tag with your name on it she wouldn't have been weirded out. I don't know, I think its really strange that she'd be bothered by it and I'm sorry. My word verification is "manukey" and I think that is a perfect word to describe the way that this mother in law is behaving.
The whole point about doing the twelve days of Christmas, is to teach the kids the joy of giving anonymously. So it would defeat the whole purpose if I told them it was coming. I don't know, there doesn't seem to be a good solution to this.
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